Picky Eating

Many children suddenly reject foods they previously enjoyed. For parents, this can be unsettling and cause concern. In this interview, we speak with Ann-Sophie Engel, a state-certified educator and specialist in picky eating, about what lies behind picky eating, why this phase often occurs between the ages of 2 and 4, and how parents can guide their children's eating without creating pressure. A conversation about development, self-efficacy, sensory perception, and trusting in a child's competence. 

 

What exactly does picky eating mean – and what is still part of normal development?

Picky eating is the term for selective eating behavior, especially in children. 50 to 75% of all children go through such a phase where they reject certain foods. It is important to distinguish picky eating from pathological eating behavior that requires therapy.

 

You say that most children have a picky eating phase. When does this usually occur?

This period usually begins between 2 and 4 years of age. The time before the 2nd birthday is often still a transitional phase from complementary feeding to family food. Eating behavior is still very variable during this time. Preferences and aversions are typical for development and are not considered picky eating. When the picky eating phase ends exactly is, by the way, very individual. For many children, it fades at the beginning of elementary school.

 

Why do many children, especially between 2 and 6 years old, reject foods? Even those they previously enjoyed?

At 2 years old, many children develop so-called neophobia – the fear or aversion to something new or unfamiliar. The autonomy phase also plays an important role here: children want to decide for themselves. When it comes to food, they feel a great sense of self-efficacy, because here they alone decide whether to open their mouth or not.

 

What role do taste, smell, and textures play in this?

A huge one! Some children dislike certain textures entirely, and others they love all the more. For example, there are children who particularly like crunchy foods, where it can really crackle in their mouth. Others prefer soft and mushy textures. Colors also play a major role.

 

Many children reject green foods.

Exactly, like broccoli or spinach. This is evolutionarily determined, as green foods are potentially unripe or poisonous and are therefore instinctively avoided. Red foods, on the other hand, are more likely to be ripe and sweet. Many children also like beige foods, such as pasta, potatoes, or bread. These foods generally do not have a strong inherent taste.

 

Do children taste more intensely than adults?

Much more intensely! Even among adults, there are so-called supertasters who taste much more intensely than non-tasters or normal-tasters. Children have more taste buds than adults and taste sour and bitter more intensely.

 

When children eat only a limited range of foods, many parents worry that they are not getting enough calories or nutrients. Is this concern justified?

As long as children grow and gain weight along their growth curve, they usually get what they need. Children are competent in that regard. It's also worth looking at: Is my child really eating so little? Often, children eat relatively little at main meals, but they snack throughout the day and thus get their calories. It can help to write down everything the child eats for a day, including all snacks. Many parents are then surprised at how much their child actually consumes.

  

So parents sometimes misjudge their children's eating habits?

That's not uncommon. I also advise parents to write down all the foods their child confidently eats. For example, if potatoes are eaten as boiled potatoes, mashed potatoes, and fries, that's already 3 foods. If this safe palette includes at least 30 foods, parents usually don't need to worry much. It becomes concerning if the child has fewer than 20 safe foods. More important than an exact number, however, is that the palette generally expands over time. 

 

That sounds like you could reach the 30 foods relatively quickly with snacks, fruits, and vegetables.

Yes, many parents are surprised at how much their child actually eats. Parents can then categorize the foods from the safe palette: fruit, vegetables, particularly rich in protein, high fat content, carbohydrates. If children eat at least one food from each area, there is usually no cause for concern. If children accept foods from different areas over time, that's a good sign, even if not everything is represented daily.

 

Not even if the child is very slender?

If parents are genuinely concerned, I always recommend consulting their pediatrician. If parents want to sneak in a few more calories, they can use a little more oil when cooking, perhaps a bit more butter when baking, or add small amounts of nut butter to porridge and gradually increase the amount.

 

How can parents offer new foods without creating pressure?

First, they can refer to the safe food palette. Is there anything noticeable? Does the child prefer certain textures, colors, or shapes? Then it makes sense to offer foods that are similar. Parents should always offer new foods in combination with the safe palette. So, on the plate there are foods the child likes, and then something new.  

 

And that probably shouldn't touch either?

For some children, that actually doesn't matter. Other children prefer it when everything is separated. There are plates with dividers that make this easier. Often, children of kindergarten age suddenly don't like mixed foods anymore, and parents wonder why pasta with tomato sauce is suddenly out. In that case, it's worth offering both separately. Often, the pasta is then eaten plain, dipped in the sauce, or the sauce is eaten with a spoon.

 

How often do you have to offer new things? Parents probably need a lot of patience, right?

Oh yes. I wouldn't tie it to a number either. You really have to be very patient. It's important for children to encounter the food more often. And ideally not just on the plate, but also in the supermarket, in the fridge, during preparation, and when mom and dad eat it.

  

How important is being a role model?

Very important. Children learn by example and quickly notice: Is the broccoli just on the table for them to eat, or do Mom and Dad also take some? It's also important to examine your own expectations. We often expect our children to eat a balanced and very healthy diet, ideally without a craving for sweets. But do we even do that ourselves? We should be role models, but at the same time, not expect perfection – neither from ourselves nor from the child.

 

When children become picky eaters, pressure often arises at the dinner table. How can parents break out of this spiral?

 It's important that parents don't comment on eating habits or label children as "good" or "bad" eaters. Phrases like "I cooked this especially for you" or "You picked that out at the store" also create pressure. This usually leads to counter-pressure, and in the end, children do the exact opposite of what parents want.

  

Can parents encourage tasting?

Here too, the manner is important. The famous "try it" spoon is not recommended. Tasting should not be forced. The phrase "That tastes good!" is also not recommended. The child might feel completely different and then feel betrayed by the caregiver: "That tastes disgusting, even though Mom said it tastes good." In the worst case, food can strain the relationship. Better: Name the food on the plate. "Look, these are the raspberries we bought yesterday. Would you like to try them?"

 

How important are fixed routines and rituals around eating?

Rituals signal security and are therefore always beneficial. Rituals can be setting the table together or a table blessing. It is also helpful if main meals always take place at roughly the same time. Then the natural feeling of hunger can align with that. However, if eating at the table is already very stressful, parents can sometimes break out of these routines.

  

How so?

Then it's sometimes worth leaving this setting. Instead, you can have a picnic in the children's room or eat on the sofa. This way, the strained situation can be overcome, and everyone involved can associate the shared meal with a positive experience again.

  

Traditionally, dessert was used to reward children for successfully finishing their meal. That's probably not advisable, is it?

Not at all. I recommend parents decide before the meal if they want to give a dessert and, if so, which dessert it should be. The child should then be free to decide when to eat the dessert: before the actual meal, in between, or afterward. Parents should not judge this decision and should be able to live with it if only the dessert is eaten. That's why it's important to consider beforehand which dessert we will provide.

 

What points would you like to share with parents who are currently struggling with picky eaters?

First: Picky eating is not a parenting failure. On the contrary: the majority of children go through such a phase. Then parents should reduce the pressure, become aware of their own statements and behaviors, and consciously change them if necessary. And finally: parents should trust in their child's competence. If weight and height develop well, children get what they need.

 

You can find even more scientifically sound information on early childhood development from 0–3 years, over 650 activities, and much more in the mo:mo app.